Being Palestinian ... Not Exactly . Being Jerusalemite..And it goes to another Not Exactly !
Being a Non Exactlymeans you travel with a Non ExactlyJordanian passport and a Non ExactlyIsraeli document .. You are marked with a special non religious probably ethnic6 number, that makes you Non Exactlyspecial.
A certain treatment that starts with exclusive harassmentand violations to what it means to be just a normal human being ..
Stares and gazes that are mixed with suspicion andcriminalizing looks . Sympathizing and guilty gestures . Both from the samepeople ... No matter how you try to behave like a normal being ... You still remain Not Exactly normal...
A Non Exactly Striptease that takes aform of a Non Exactly taking off yourclothes until you buzz in Non Exactly censored areas . Otherwise you are as well privileged to aNon Exactly massage service , that includes touching every singlepiece of skin that covers your suspicious figure … All in all Non Exactly any of the above mentionedservices that you really like to offer or to receive under the given conditions.
The journey with being NonExactly doesn't start or end with the journey itself. With the preparation to leave this “havenly” engraved space . Unless for very limited places ... Youare Not Exactly capable of goinganywhere without a definite Not Exactlydefined status for your Non Exactly defined status ..
You are a Palestinian but without a Palestinian Passport ,which you would say maybe it is not exactly bad. A Jordanian passport with a Tmark that makes it Not Exactlyspecial. With a place of birth indicated as Jerusalem . And Israeli red (anything but diplomatic) traveling document that indicates your are Jordanian next to nationality slot .
So how to apply to a visa anywhere ???? It is a Not Exactly easy job, or answer.Especially that many if not most are not aware of our Non Exactly existing status . Even when checked in Israeli borders, those young inspectors may ask you if it's your first time in Israel..
You travel with one NonExactly document in hand and one in the pocket on each different passingborder depending on the severity of the NonExactly document you hold to the country of destination .. and you comeback , and received with a seriouslyNonExactly special welcoming .No matter how long or short the flight was . Howconvenient or tiring . If it was at noon or midnight ..You always receive thevery same Non Exactly ,non exactly special service of anotherround of Non Exactlymeaningfulquestions , and inspections that always takes you to a special room withanother series of inspecting machines that according to your lucky stars couldgo as re inspecting every single item you carry , or a minimum of all luggageinspection through xray machines only.
In the meantime, a boyfriend or a partner who might not beprivileged to be Palestinian , may wonder about your non exactly normal or not normal life , and give you the stigma ofbeing a complaining creature when you are nonexactly even a Jew.
Each time you will wonder … isn’t it better to just staythere in the non exactly luxury ofjust passing checkpoints ?
A non exactly moment of wondering